Paint a pretty little picture
Social media. The perfect format to paint a pretty little picture of your life. Be who you want to be. Like what you want to like. Post what you want to post. Or not……
There are still a few strange people out there who will say offensive things and its so easy to just Unfriend. Delete. Or Report as Spam. But in real life it’s not that easy.
My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 12 and we still cherish our time together. We have a busy household. Its amazing we even have time to share intimate moments to the world on Facebook. Such is the era of a smart phone I guess.
To celebrate my birthday early we decided to watch our wedding video. We were engulfed in that day. Remembering such a memorable moment. We laughed. We cried. Our kids were so amazed how little Keone and Kaila were. It rekindled even more love than we thought we could have.
One thing that raised our eye brows were how many couples at our wedding were no longer together. Saddened by the thought, we were thankful. As no longer being together was never an option for us, never. I think most people, of course, hide behind closed doors, paint a pretty picture…but inside it’s a mess.
Whatever the reasons were of course, are none of our business. It may be both parties, or one-sided. Then, ever notice when a couple splits up, someone also becomes someone you never knew? Or when a couple splits up you feel you have to take sides? Or one side actually falls off the face of the earth and hangs out entirely with a different crowd? Sometimes, I remember thinking WOW did NOT see that coming. It was like watching Ironman Kona, wow did not see Crowie finishing 12th! Did NOT see Macca backing out or giving up.
Well, either way, one thing that I can attest to is YES in social media, I too paint a perfect picture. Although only God is perfect, this picture of my life, its perfect for me. My diet is not perfect. But it is perfect 80% of the time. My marriage, well, I can say is perfect. But I went through an ugly picture to get to this one.
Embracing my husband’s need to grow and he embraces my need to grow is a part of being in a strong relationship. I also know God must be a part of that. You also must have the attitude of “I am not going anywhere” or “Quitting is not an option” the word “divorce” should never be in your conversations unless you absolutely mean it. Once it enters your thoughts, conversations, and arguments, it becomes the topic of your conversations. That’s a no no!
YOU ….meaning, you and your spouse BOTH should be the topic. How did your day go? What is important to you? And how can I help you? How are you feeling? Open your heart. This goes for all relationships, not just marriage, but friendships also. We have a saying….I wear the pants in the family, I wear one leg and Rob wears the other. Guys have the automatic dominant role, or do they? Well, a marriage is of 2 people. That’s 1 +1= 2. Not 1 and a half.
In triathlon, we have to lay out our plan, and execute separate paths, but somehow in the end, our paths join again once the journey of race day is over. Or he has a plan, and I stay out of his way. Or I have a plan and he stays out of my way. Either way, it’s a journey we have together, as well as separately at the same time. So what I am trying to say is YOU may have different goals and ways of attacking situations. It is important to let a man be a man as this IS his design by nature. And your role may sometimes require to fade into the background….so what?! Its not about YOU. It’s about WE.
GOD…God should be the center. And most couples have no idea how to do that. It may be you two need to have your separate relationship with God in order to share it with each other. Each person has different levels and strengths when it comes to fellowship and worship. If your partner has no interest, well you need to pray for your loved one and set an example, and be the rock for them or vice versa. In time, they are sure to open their hearts as long as you are in it. Oh yeah, and give credit to God.
TIME…time is so important. I actually didn’t want anything for my birthday this year. I am so thankful for everything that I don’t need anything else…except time. More time with my kids. More time to write. More time to do laundry. More time to train. More time with my husband. More time with friends. More time to serve. Catch my drift? Of all things, budget time wisely and when you have it, savour it!! Meaning, don’t rush through your date, be thankful for it. Just making time to call or text a friend. Make it a priority. Having lunch with your loved ones. Making time, is a precious gift. Dont ever take that for granted. Being a triathlete, time spent training becomes a priority during the season. Taking advantage of our time off during “recovery” weeks which still includes 10 plus hours of training. You learn to improvise, do without things, sacrifice sleep, track progress, eat right, sacrifice social life, etc. Wouldn’t it be great if we could do the same for God or our loved ones? Lastly, take time for you! Schedule girl time, bro time, a massage, a pedicure, hair, facial, movies….schedule a huge block of time for that. If something takes 2 hours, schedule 4 hours, so you aren’t rushing and are prepared if something gets in the way. I am sooo guilty of this. But doing this takes away unwanted stress. I know a mom who scheduled volunteering at school, knowing well enough that was the only time she could workout. Not working out made her miserable, then came the weight gain. I suggested: Why not schedule volunteering late morning and shower at the gym? Well, of course there were a million excuses. “oh no I will NOT shower at the gym” “Oh my hair HAS to be fixed” But again, where there is a will there is a way. Any personal trainer will tell you this is toxic, excuses, are what really get in the way.
Use these top 3 things to paint your pretty picture of life. Always use your joys to lift someone else, use your mistakes to learn and grow, learn to speak softly when angry, pray before everything, and you will see your life flourish beyond what you imagined.