Why me? Part 5

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Why me? Part 5

It was getting late, I was paging Kaila’s father to let him know we were headed to surgery. No response. I called home, they heard nothing.

Dr. Downey entered, already dressed in scrubs. He came and checked Kaila again, her stomach was to the point you can see her intestines through her skin. Knowing her father was at the SDSU game, he questioned, “Is her father on his way?”

“Oh yes, the game should be over soon, and he is supposed to come right after”

Dr. Downey was probably the warmest man I had met, he reminded me of Santa. He was a heavier set man with a thick mustache, his medical terminology was eliquent but understandable. He was someone I felt blessed to have around Kaila. He gently spoke in an angelic fatherly voice, as he put his hand on my shoulder “Mrs. Madrid, I think I should tell you, the game ended 2 hours ago….” I froze. “Is there someone else you can call?” That voice pierced through me. It was Dr Downey, but it felt like it was from a higher place. I know I probably looked like a deer in headlights. “Mrs. Madrid, I want you to know we can’t wait much longer, we may be putting Kaila at risk.”

“Oh, yes! Please don’t wait, I will be fine, I have called my parents also” I lied.

“Under the circumstances, we have to get going”

“I understand, thank you, I am fine!”

Like a train wreck, like a life flashing before you, all the lies, the wasted time, the sacrifice, my prayer for the strength to leave took over me. In one breath, I moved on and retraced my thoughts to Kaila.

God had freed me. Gave me permission to leave. My guilt for not giving things a chance was gone. My kids deserved better. I deserved better. God had a plan for me, and it was much greater. My journey was not to live in sorrow. “Greater is the plan I have for you, rejoice in Me”

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